I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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