We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
