I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
this hospital has no fireball
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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