Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
