just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The power of my boobs compel you
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
