I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize