don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
