just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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