In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
dude. I can hear the air.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
