I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
