hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
