like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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