Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
