Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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