Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
