So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
