a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
