i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
