Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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