return my video game
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
