when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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