are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
