She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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