when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
