Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We named our party play list daddy issues
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
