All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
