You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
