i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
