then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize