So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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