There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
