Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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