y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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