I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
