how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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