She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
