Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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