the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
