I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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