The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
