I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
