Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
