Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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