2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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