I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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