if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
