My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
