how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
