I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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