The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
