Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
