bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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