Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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