Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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