dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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