Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
