Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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