She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
