they need to just BURY HIM!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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