just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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