Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You need Xanax blowdarts
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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