i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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