love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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