I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
