you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
