You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
