yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need to align my fucking chakras
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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