if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
